So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
