Do vagina's smell?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
