seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
