I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just want to make out with him forever
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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