I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
MIDGETS
????
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
