I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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