now i know why i became what i already was.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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