you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
