i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
