my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
