i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
