Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
