she looked like the bat from fern gully.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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