He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just want to make out with him forever
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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