The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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