is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize