First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
