Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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