She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
