Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
