He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
