I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
