At least make sure they are 18
Why
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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