White coat. Heels.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize