I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
