Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize