Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
