dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have aggressive nipples.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
