You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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