hell yes lets make some ravioli
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
