she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So squirting runs in the family.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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