Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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