he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
