Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
