I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
