Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
