so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
