mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
