I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
