she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
