Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
How external is "for external use only"?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
