youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
