So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
