Whod you bang
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
a search helicopter?!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The air taste purple.
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