people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
