do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize