So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
