I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We're too hungover to prance.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize