We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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