All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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