Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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