went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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