I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
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you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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