Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize