Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
