Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
