Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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