We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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